More crapness to make women feel shit about not being 19 years old

Crap thing 1: There is a L’Oreal advert on at the moment which has Jane Fonda telling you that as you get older your skin “lets you down”. Does this mean it starts leaking and letting the rain in? Does it stand you up when you have arranged a drink? At least you’ve bloody got some! I am covered in eczema and am grateful everyday that it is not as bad as I have seen on some people. Ask a burns victim about skin ‘letting you down’. Hmmmf. Oh and then she says “I’m 68” as if she is announcing something SO amazing that you can hardly credit it. “I’m not young and I’m daring to be on your TV. It must be the product that makes me so bold. Can you believe a woman can get to be so old?” Now, I didn’t think 68 was that old in a world where the oldest woman is 122 and lives in a shack without any skin products. SO, sorry Jane but you have a few years to go until we are all impressed with your ability to stay alive past your ‘male fantasy’ sell-by date.

Crap thing 2: I innocently bought some toothpaste by Colgate that claimed to help reduce gum disease; my gums are a bit sore at the moment. Rob was brushing his teeth and I heard him laughing to himself, when I went to see what had happened he pointed to a sentence on the tube of toothpaste that said

“Clinically proven to protect against time”

That is some outrageous claim. Protect against time????? Well, that will be really useful then. What clinical trials were carried out then and I’d really like to see the results.

All clearly bonkers.

The thing is, you only need turn your head 90 degrees away from the TV to look at the people around you (or in a mirror if you live alone) to see that the world is not populated with thin ‘beautiful’ young women who act like a soft porn actress every time she says something to a man. The real world is populated by a load of us ugly women and men, and I don’t mean Eastenders…the real world, you know, not on a screen, not the documentary about the fat teenager or the one about ‘crazy weirdos’ who breastfeed their 5 year olds. The real people who live next door to you, who work with you, who are your friends…we are all ugly or fat or thin or funny shaped…maybe, just maybe, we are the normal ones.

Guess what…we get old too!